A New Beginning
These past few weeks have been a fight. I have grappled with my self-confidence -- small and lacking, as it is -- to build it up. I want to be able to look at all that I can do and be proud of it, even just aware of it.
For so much of my life, I have felt incapable and useless, not because I am but because I told myself that. I held myself to an unrealistic, perfectionist standard, but I'm going to change that.
After a lot of mediation, I've realized that talking down to myself and viewing myself in a negative light shows a lack of faith and appreciation toward God. He is the One that has blessed me with good health, a sharp mind, nimble hands, and a creativity to use them in many different art forms. By doubting any of that ability, I am doubting Him. By holding myself to an impossible standard, I am also viewing my judgment of myself as better than God. After all, if He is willing to accept me because of my love and faith in Him, why can't I accept myself?
It's time to start again.